he thought of her constantly
knowing she was his
gave him comfort
he had never known before
it soothed him when nothing and
no one else could
it eased his mind
softened his life
it had not begun that way
in the beginning
she was just another object
to him another something
that belonged to him
but with the passage of time
with the passage of his life
his life without love
without hope
without
his casual relationship with her
deepened and grew
with each thing he lost
each person who left him
every thing that escaped him
with every piece of himself
that he lost
he came to think of her more
to depend upon her presence
in his life
she was always there for him
no matter what or when
she was the one constant
in his life now
she would never leave
never hurt him
she offered the
only hope he had
and so it was that his feelings
toward her grew deeper
and deeper still
and when the final loss came
as it was sure to do
the final blow of blows
when he had no one else to turn to
no where else to go
for comfort
for sanctuary
for forgiveness
for love
she was there for him
as he had always known
she would be
she was his
nothing could change that
she gave him all the things
he had never had
she gave him hope
comfort
offered him forgiveness
when he held her
gave him sanctuary
when he touched her
all he had to do was
do the deed
and
she would take him
where he would never
suffer again
forever
and so it was
that on that day of days
he brought her to him
one last time
he looked at her
longingly lovingly
as he held her close
he held her gently
as lovers do
close to his heart
his shattered heart
and then
he
pulled
the
trigger
*in loving memory of bobby horton
