it ain't easy...

it ain’t easy
it ain’t never gonna be easy
this thing between me an’ you
some’ll say it’s just plain sleazy

some’ll say it’s one’a them nasty sins
but i don’t care if heaven we lose or win
hell’s already full’a them sins’a the skin

it ain’t never gonna be nothin’
this thing between me an’ you
nothin’ more’n you lovin’ me
an’ me lovin’ you
like we do

no, it ain’t easy
it ain't never gonna be easy
lovin’ me
this wild banshee 

.

.

.

shadow world...

shadows deep and thick
closed round her

savoring
swallowing
her

heart

lost souls winding their way
to the land of the lost
shipwrecked fragments of time
their only compass
through the mire
her own soul long ago sold
for the gold of another life
blinded by the want of more
she could not look
and thus she did not see

shadows deep and thick
closed round her

savoring
swallowing
her

self

.

.

.

homesickness...

she had become homesick
for something quite unknown
something unfamiliar
something she seemed to have known
to have felt to have been
some other time some other place
but when or where remained a mystery to her
what or who it was she could not remember
an agnogenic condition for sure
but homesick she stayed
and so it was that her nostalgia grew
as did her yearning for that something missing
not complete not whole she could not quite grasp
sadness coupled with longing soon turned to despair
longing for a thing she could not even name
despair for a thing unknown
the more she tried to remember to surrender
to the mist of her now-faded memory
the more embattled her soul
as if some stranger some trespasser
a foreign interloper had quietly and stealthily sneaked
into the deepest recesses of her self
and plucked and plundered till there was no more remaining
no more indeed not even a drop
of what was of what had been of what should still be
that obscure something for which her melancholy grew
and which soon twisted into a weariness begging for resignation
resigning herself to lost recollection to lost recognition

nothing could salvage what was not there

nothing short of divination
and so in her abject morbid meditation
as she sat staring
into the nothingness of her days
something caught her eye
an illusion almost
an image a manifestation
of something but of what
what was it that she saw there
staring back at her from the other side
slowly ever so slowly she began to see what was
it began to take shape
to become
that something she could not name
began to blossom to grow to regenerate
the skeletal pieces came together
blanketed by a soft pink tint
under which she could feel
slowly but surely beating
her heart
she glanced furtively upward
directly into the eyes of
of that something she was missing
that she had almost forgotten
that she had nearly lost
the eyes of her
SELF

and then she saw not just the pieces but the whole image
the thing for which she had become homesick
the thing unknown unfamiliar
it was her -

without him

~

do not think it so...

do not think me oh so sad
do not believe it was all bad

no - do not think me so
for i have been where few may go

i have touched the pure white snow
i have seen the mountain’s glow

do not think me satan-sent
do not believe that i repent

no - do not think it true
for i have been where cupids flew 

and i have been where few can dare
to shed their life’s blights and cares    
    
i have touched love’s heavenly gates
i have felt the hands of eros quake

where love’s grace did on me bestow
like luscious absinthe spread below

do not think me oh so sad
do not believe it was all bad

i have touched love’s heavenly facade
i have walked where angels trod

i have been loved true
i may now live anew

~

 

the corruption...

you
have

corrupted
me
with
your
innocence

leaving
my
soul
with
no
defense

tainting
my
heart
with
your
purity

loving
me
for
the
me
of
me

you
have

corrupted
me

with

your

love

~

simply...

 

when i think of you 

i do not think
of your being there
of my being here
i simply think of you

 

lost...

feel

so
lost
can’t see
outside
of
me
through
the

dark
hole
in my heart
feel
so

lost
can’t see
inside

of
me
try
as
i
might
can’t find

the

light
feel

so

lost

.

.

.

ticktock.....

i feel you

you know
when you come
here
even when no words
are left
i can feel you here
my body ticks
to your tocks
ticktockticktockticktock
you enter my mind
and your breath
brushes against my heart

wraps round my dreams
my breathing
breeds a life of its own
even when no words
are written
no ink spilled
even when
you are not here
but there
i feel you
here
in your thoughts
of being here
i feel you here
when you come
here
in your dreams
time measured
in gasps
of the in between
your next time
and i feel you
come
here

again

ticktockticktockticktock