barefoot...

she stepped

out

of herself

barefoot

following the trail
of broken memories
crumbling beneath

her feet
like so many

brittle leaves
in the fall

memories tainted
blood stained
buried in the
bitter cold
of yesterday

still
she walked

barefoot

into
spring

.

.

.

homesickness...

she had become homesick
for something quite unknown
something unfamiliar
something she seemed to have known
to have felt to have been
some other time some other place
but when or where remained a mystery to her
what or who it was she could not remember
an agnogenic condition for sure
but homesick she stayed
and so it was that her nostalgia grew
as did her yearning for that something missing
not complete not whole she could not quite grasp
sadness coupled with longing soon turned to despair
longing for a thing she could not even name
despair for a thing unknown
the more she tried to remember to surrender
to the mist of her now-faded memory
the more embattled her soul
as if some stranger some trespasser
a foreign interloper had quietly and stealthily sneaked
into the deepest recesses of her self
and plucked and plundered till there was no more remaining
no more indeed not even a drop
of what was of what had been of what should still be
that obscure something for which her melancholy grew
and which soon twisted into a weariness begging for resignation
resigning herself to lost recollection to lost recognition

nothing could salvage what was not there

nothing short of divination
and so in her abject morbid meditation
as she sat staring
into the nothingness of her days
something caught her eye
an illusion almost
an image a manifestation
of something but of what
what was it that she saw there
staring back at her from the other side
slowly ever so slowly she began to see what was
it began to take shape
to become
that something she could not name
began to blossom to grow to regenerate
the skeletal pieces came together
blanketed by a soft pink tint
under which she could feel
slowly but surely beating
her heart
she glanced furtively upward
directly into the eyes of
of that something she was missing
that she had almost forgotten
that she had nearly lost
the eyes of her
SELF

and then she saw not just the pieces but the whole image
the thing for which she had become homesick
the thing unknown unfamiliar
it was her -

without him

~

if.....

if i look long enough
if i look hard enough
do you think it possible
that i might find
my long lost lovin’ mind
lost to the
ravages of your
mysterious kind

if i look deep enough
and deeper still
might i find love
upon the hard flat sill
that borders the lifescape
of your worn weary heart

if i climb down and down
into the looking glass now
might i be then a
part of your life
a life so lost in the
echos of time
no longer true
nothing makes sense
just a piece of this
cold hard brass

 if i look long enough
if i look deep enough
if i climb down enough

where would i be?
neverneverland
 

and

no longer
me

.

.

.

queen of the earth...

you cannot imagine what a queen of the earth

i was when i was twelve years old -

ah, how you would have loved me 

and

how i miss myself!!!

the truth of the soul...

whatever satisfies

the
SOUL

is
TRUTH

to esperanza...

and trish macgregor...

  

HOPE 

is the dream

of a 

soul awake

to wonder...

 men go abroad to wonder

at the heights of mountains

at the huge waves of the sea

at the long courses of the rivers

at the vast compass of the ocean

at the circular motions of the stars

and they pass by themselves without wondering -

what are your secret places?

i have led you into

the secret places

of your soul -

now you must

find them again -

this time

by yourself -

the attraction...

whatever relationships you have attracted

in  your life at this moment

are precisely the ones 

you need in your life at this moment -

there is a hidden meaning 

behind all events and

this hidden meaning is 

serving your own 

evolution! 

this was previously posted at the travel journal but it seemed fitting here today!  enjoy!

becoming...

when i let go

of who i am

i become

what i 

might be

the end is the beginning...

and the end of all our exploring will be to

arrive where we started and 

know the place for the first time